New Website

http://www.wix.com/smithcomposer/nicholas

Walt Wilkins Theme

I guess I am saying: Politicians do not really know what is happening. Everyone else runs their lives as they should.

12.07.10

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But sometimes the eye can see what is not there. And sometimes the eye doesn't see anything at all.

50)

Wondering
At
Lost
Thought

Wallowing
In
Laborious
Kinds
Inside,
Narrow
Sight

Walking
Around
Lodging
Tonight

Wishing,
Intellectually,
Lights
Killed
Into
Nearby
Stairs

Woodcutters
Always
Load
Tough

"Waves
Illuminater,
Lambs,
Kick
Idly,"
Noticeably
Said

Water
Allocates;
Land
Tangles

Wages
Intensify
Like
Kites,
Inversely,
Near
Sales

49)

I arrived at home, where I will be spending the next 4 months, and immediately began thinking about what I should be working on. At first I rearranged my room, as I always do when I return home, and positioned my working space in front of the only window in my room. I knew by the end of the summer it would feel like I was in a tree house, but right now it still feels like I am looking out on a new world that is unsure of itself: cold, yet green with life; dark, but light enough to illuminate everything.

I sit looking out on this world that I know will change. I am sure without a doubt.

But back to what I want to write this summer. Last summer I attempted to write a standard string quartet. I was a little more aimless last summer, so this time I knew I needed something to keep me grounded. The idea of a programmatic piece came to mind. I spent a couple hours scouring images in my room and on the internet, but to no avail. As I was in the middle of my scouring the power went out. So I listened/studied the Rite of Spring by candlelight: a powerful example of supreme orchestration. I read then went to bed at 9.15. I woke three times. Once to someone saying goodnight. Once because I was thirsty. The last time I woke up I do not remember why, but I remember what I saw. I looked out my window and saw this world covered in mist. I knew then where the program to my music would come from.

I woke up with a plan, a purpose. I would write a complete string quartet this summer based on my ideas of set theory, 12 tone theory, and division. I would also begin work on more piano sonatinas to keep my piano skills up.

I already have 4 pages of notes. More on this subject to come.

Fuhton

48)

I am finding that I am opening my ears to much. Yes, it is good to open your ears to hear the world around you. Yes, it is good to listen to thousands of recordings over and over again. Yes, it is good to listen to your fellow man's needs and desires. However to open up your ears (which means closing one's mouth) will eventually lead to an inability to open your mouth. Your ears will be so full of other people you will begin to lose the ability to hear yourself. If you try to open your mouth people will wonder why you even spoke at all.

I have encountered this twice within these last two days. I listened to these people, but I listened to closely. Their ears were not as inclined to hear my questions, answers, or comments and I encountered reproof and correction where I expected love and gratitude as I had given.

On the same subject but from a different angle, most of the people I have encountered here, that have developed socially, mentally, and spiritually here, have long wind. They talk way to much. I will ask a question and receive 7 or 8 answers from one person. Typically 1 answer does the job. I feel this is a spin off of how we are taught and grown here. We are taught by straight lecture, with few moments for interjection, comments, or questions. As a result when we engage outside of a classroom setting, we talk as if we where in charge of the classroom, winging around our intellect as if it where the most important thing in the world. Unfortunately I haven't encountered to many that I would put in high esteem.

I wish people would settle down and think before the speak. I wish they would think about what they want to say last before the begin with what they are saying. I wish they would talk quieter and only in short spouts.

People might be less confused.

Futhon

47)

Words are to great to be spoken without purpose. The majority of what I say could be erased from history without many people noticing. That's why I write music. I have a way with words that seems to make them disappear right before my eyes. I will say something, then the next second I realize I just dug a hole. I had spoken the wrong word. But I feel compelled to continue with the words I have spoken, in hopes that I may understand what my brain was trying to say. Usually this doesn't end anywhere pleasant.

I'm sick of having to change.

Futhon